History
by amber1533
Summary: The sudden shove into single-parenthood and a more than full time job has kept him from having any other relationships outside of the BAU. He meets an old friend with as many scars as him. Hotch/OFC implied Rossi/Prentiss, Morgan/Garcia
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the character. This is just a fanfiction and is not intended for profit.**  
_

_"__History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again._" Maya Angelou

He slowly sipped his champagne. It wasn't his drink of choice but it was appropriate for the FBI New Year's party. He drank the last swallow of his bubbly drink scanning the room waiting patiently for midnight to come. Dave Rossi and Emily Prentiss were in a corner drinking, laughing, and enjoying each other as only those two could. Penelope Garcia and Kevin Lynch were chatting, and although he wouldn't admit if you asked, Derek Morgan was staring down Lynch. Spencer Reid not much of a drinker, was talking to a group of disinterested people too polite to just walk away. He was proud of his team after all they had been through together. They were a family as Garcia lovingly called them.

He didn't particularly like brunettes, but seeing her slender back and cascading black curls caught his attention. He kept an eye on the brunette handing out more champagne. Her lavender dress was made of silk and wrapped around her body fitting perfectly. Her long legs were accentuated by her nude pumps and although he knew the pressure heels had on a woman's calf he couldn't help but admire her. He didn't recognize her until she turned to him offering him a new drink.

"Gabby?" He asked puzzled noticing the emerald green eyes he'd only seen on one person before.

"Mr. Aaron, wow it's been a long time." She exclaimed. Gabriela was the daughter of a close friend of Aaron Hotchner's. Robert, her father, was catering this event but the last Aaron had heard she was studying for her masters at Georgetown.

"Yeah, I haven't seen you since your parents…" He let his voice trail. He was usually more thoughtful and mindful of every word he spoke, but he had a few drinks. Maybe even more than a few.

"Uh-yeah." She mumbled. Her parent's divorce didn't really affect her negatively anymore, but her mom moved to Phoenix AZ, and took Gabby with her. She didn't really see her father much after they split. She had to admit looking at him now sparked a primal need in her. He was attractive and his chocolate brown eyes were seductive.

"Well. I should get back to handing out drinks, a lot of drunken thirsty people." She said awkwardly breaking the uncomfortable silence. It's not like they had ever really chatted, he was the grown up when she was just a kid, although he was never around as much as his wife. Realization crept over her face, she had never given condolences. As she turned back toward him, she found he was no longer there. A quick scan found him chatting with her father.

As Aaron chatted with Gabriela's father he secretly hated himself for finding her attractive. He was there when she was born. Although he convinced himself easily that it was just the drinks, and she had grown up. He had tried to keep up with his friends and since Robert was a very old friend from high school he had always put extra effort. It was a bit strained now that she was gone and he was alone. But he liked to think Rob was the closest friend he had outside of the team.

After the night an exhausted Gabby climbed into her bed at her father's house. She thought briefly about where she thought her life would be and where it was actually. She was always straight and narrow. She had a life plan since she was 14. She would go to college, graduate top of her class and join the FBI. She had gone to college. She even graduated, although it wasn't top of her class and took every shred of fight in her to finish her master's degree in Sociolinguistics. After that night she just couldn't…

She didn't let her mind follow the direction it was going. She had gotten passed it by ignoring it. Sure she was a waitress and worked at her father's company instead of joining the FBI, but it was ok. She was still young. She just needed time to adjust.

He looked magnificent in that suit, which she remembered he always wore a suit. His dark eyes were penetrating, and his slight smile was enticing. She could admire him all day. She had to admit she kind of had a hero infatuation with him. He was almost the pinnacle of what a good man should be, she thought. He was a Special Agent after years as a prosecutor. He did a lot with his life, and she couldn't help but admire that.

"Hotch, we a few cases I'd like you to take a look at. I think the New York case could use our help the most." JJ asked handing over three case files to her boss.

"JJ, you are more than capable of doing this job. You know you don't need my approval on cases." Hotchner replied but still glanced over the files. He agreed that the NYPD case seemed most prevalent and would benefit the most from their assistance.

After JJ explained the case and handed out everyone's individual files Hotch called his former sister-in-law Jessica. After his wife was murdered Jessica offered to take care of Jack when he needed help so he could maintain his busy work schedule. She answered the phone but explained that she had a vacation planned for the week and wouldn't be able to watch him. He considered just staying behind until he thought of Gabby.

He dialed Rob's number.

"Hey, Rob, do you think Gabby would like some extra cash this week?" He asked. After getting her cell number he hung up and dialed her.

"This is Aaron Hotchn—" He was cut off.

"I know who you are what's up?" She asked. She happily took the opportunity to make some extra cash.

He said he didn't expect to be gone a long time but he really couldn't gauge exactly how long he would be. Gabby packed a week's worth of clothes just in case, he was paying her a good bit more than she would get from working with her father this week so it was a no brainer that she would accept. She arrived a few hours after he called. While she wouldn't admit she got a little extra dressed up for him, she did double check herself in the rearview mirror before exiting her Volkswagen.

Hotch had a list of rules written on his yellow legal pad. He was nothing if not completely thorough and organized. Gabriela buzzed his door bell and he let her in.

"Thank you for doing this on short notice. I have some cash here if you want to order dinner this week, but there is plenty of food in the freezer. Also here is a list of things, rules you know. Jack is already in bed, he will need to be at school by 8am tomorrow. I've already laid out his clothes for the week, and his pajamas are in the top drawers." Hotch explained looking at this watch. He really needed to be leaving soon but he wanted to make sure Jack would be ok.

"Did you eat dinner yet?" He asked pointing to the food on the stove.

"Oh yeah, I ate before I came. By the way don't worry; I used to work at a daycare while I was in school. And I babysat for my mom and Tim's kids all the time. Besides I have this wonderful list." She said slightly teasing.

"So where am I sleeping?" She asked.

"It's only a two bedroom, but you can sleep in my bed if you like. I've changed the sheets and everything. But if you prefer the couch I can get a sheet and blanket for you." He responded as he walked into his room to gather his suit case and bags. He told her where the sheets and extra blankets were.

"I have to go, but I will call when we land in New York, and I'll call to check up periodically." He stated.

"Ok. Don't worry; we will be just fine, just go get the bad guys." She laughed. His face remained completely indifferent.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship." _– Oscar Wilde

3 days is a long time away from your child. Although he talked to Jack 3 or 4 times a day while he was gone and he seemed like he was having a great time Aaron still couldn't get home fast enough. The team equally decided to take the quick flight even though it was pretty late.

"Please fasten your seat belts; we will be landing in 5 minutes." The final warning echoed over the intercom on their jet.

After they landed and said goodbye Hotch decided to let them have the next day off, giving them a three day weekend.

He walked in as quietly as he could, noticing Gabby sleeping on the couch. She had been expecting him but she couldn't stay awake. He checked his watch, 1:30am. She had asked him to wake her when he came home so she could head home, but she looked so peaceful he didn't want to disturb her.

He took off his jacket and slowly untied his tie making his way to the kitchen. He wanted nothing more than a glass of bourbon. Gabby's voice startled him as she slid past him moving to the cupboard.

"I am thirsty." She said hoarsely.

"Ah." He said simply. She held her glass by his indicating she would like a little of what he was drinking. He shook his head but obliged pouring her glass ½ full. He watched her as she moved slowly on her toes back to the couch.

"I was going to leave when you got back, but I didn't realize it would be so late." She said as Aaron joined her on the couch.

"It's ok, you can stay. Thanks again for helping me out." He whispered.

"Jack is a really good kid. It must be hard being away from him so often." She said.

"I don't enjoy it; it's a hard balancing act sometimes. I try to be here as much as I can. When I am with him, it's just about us. He seems to understand that dad is fighting the bad guys."

"Why do you do the work then?" She asked.

"Because I have to." He stated simply as he drank from his glass. Gabby just nodded and sipped her drink as well. She wasn't usually a fan of bourbon, being a red wine kind of girl, but it seemed appropriate.

"I'm sorry about Mrs. Haley. I didn't hear about it until last year." She didn't know if that was proper etiquette but she had to break the silence that overcame them.

"Thank you." He replied. Gabby really started feeling the effects of the alcohol and laughed out loud.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing, really. When I was getting my Bachelor's degree, I could drink with the best of them. Now I am halfway through this glass and already a little buzzed." She giggled a little more. She looked at him feeling like a complete idiot. She was old enough to handle her liquor.

"I heard you wanted to join the FBI?" Hotch asked changing the subject and drinking a little more.

"I did. For the longest time that's what I wanted to do. I just…I just…um got sidetracked I guess." She didn't really want to continue the conversation.

"Why?" She knew he would ask.

Instead of answering she swallowed the last of her amber liquid. Hotch inevitably followed suit, taking the hint that she didn't want to continue the conversation. He stood up taking her glass, and went into the kitchen for a refill.

"Oh I don't think I should have anymore." She whispered as he handed her the drink.

"Why?" He didn't realize how much he hated drinking alone until he had someone to drink with. Hell he didn't realize how lonely he had been until he had someone to not be lonely with.

"I might say something I shouldn't." She smiled. He knew what she meant and he knew that he should go to his room and go to bed. But he didn't.

"What would you say?" He asked urging her on.

"You know what I would say." She responded locking eyes with the profiler. Her green eyes seemed brighter. He had to admire her glorious feminine body in the shorts and tank she wore. Her hair placed in a sloppy bun on her head was even beautiful to him.

"I want to hear you say it." He demanded delicately. He smiled briefly knowing full well where this was headed and instead of listening to his mind he was listening to everything else.

She looked away, not ashamed because Aaron was a gorgeous man, but she was embarrassed. She knew he would have picked up on her schoolgirl crush eventually.

"I want you." She said barely audible. She didn't look him in the eyes and kept her gaze to the floor.

Hotch didn't say anything back, instead he moved closer to her and kissed her softly. For the first time in a very long time he did what he wanted not what he knew was right.

Gabby moaned softly when their lips parted, she licked her lips enjoying the taste of him and the sweet taste of liquor on his lips. She thought maybe she was dreaming, but if she was this was a dream she did not want to wake from. His arms wrapped around her body pulling her to him. Their lips met again deeper and more passionate this time. He pushed his tongue gently into her mouth dancing with hers. Not breaking the kiss, Gabby slowly started to unbutton his shirt. Quickly he grabbed her hands pulling them from the last few buttons that were still connected.

"I have scars, it's not pretty." He whispered looking into her soft eyes.

"We all have scars, you just can't see mine." She whispered kissing him as he released her hands. She took off his shirt, looking at the deep scars on his otherwise perfect abdomen. He worked expertly at removing her shirt and bra. They reconnected kissing, exploring each other.

Her skin felt like fire pressed against his exposed flesh. She ran her hand through his thick brown hair. They slowly made their way to his room shutting the door. He laid her down on his bed, noting quickly that it was still perfectly made as he left it. Breaking away again, he pulled himself on his elbows over her flushed face.

"Are you sure? All you have to say is stop." He asked half hoping she would be the sound of reason between them. He had waited so long to be with anyone that he simply did not have the will power to stop on his own. His shaft ached painfully to be released from the constraints of his pants.

"I am more than sure." It had been an agonizingly long time since she could even think about being intimate with someone. The only other time she tried she fled in terror. But she trusted Aaron, he wouldn't hurt her.

She worked clumsily to unhook his belt. Hotch, becoming impatient stood removing his pants. Gabby took the time to remove her bottoms exposing her fully naked body to him.

He kissed the tip of her nose and then her lips passionately as he entered her. She moaned softly as she braced her hands on his chest. She needed a moment to adjust to his size. She rocked her hips indicating she was ready. He moved excruciatingly slow nearly drawing out of her with each stoke. It had been so long that he wanted to enjoy every moment of her. After he noticed her frantic hip movements he increased speed matching her in a perfect rhythm. He fought the urge to spill immediately wanting to make sure she enjoyed herself first. It wasn't long before she was about ready with him rubbing against her tender center. She grabbed a pillow to cover her face as her peak neared. Aaron took the pillow from her.

"No, I want to see you." He moaned as she tightened around him her climax effectively sending him over as well. It was more than just a sexual release. It was anger, pain and the deepest sorrow releasing. He knew it would be back but in those few moments after he would have a clear mind and maybe get a good night sleep. He didn't even remember the last time he slept well.

She was relieved. It was possible for her to be with someone after what that bastard did to her. She could be normal. The affirmation was enlightening. As they laid next to each she felt safe for the first time in years. She didn't want to make this more than what it was, but she couldn't deny what it had meant. The glimmer of hope they both shared, unspoken, was a binding moment.

Gabby woke, momentarily confused as she didn't recognize her surroundings. When the memories started flowing back she couldn't really believe that she had sex with him. But god, was it amazing. Whatever regrets she would have today she knew it was worth it last night. She quickly and quietly got dressed. As she walked down the hallway she heard the dishwasher running and old _I love Lucy_ episodes playing on the TV.

Aaron sat on the couch reviewing his case files. His laptop was open with grotesque photos littering the coffee table. He was fully dressed although he looked comfortable in a plain red t-shirt and jeans. He was waiting for her to wake up but he didn't know what to say or even where to start. Without saying a word she gathered her things and sat down opposite of him. He closed his computer and turned the pictures over, knowing no one should have to see them.

"So," they both started. Aaron motioned to her to start because he didn't know what to say.

"Is Jack in school?" She asked avoiding eye contact although she could feel the cold stare he gave her.

"Yes." He answered. "He couldn't stop singing your praises, I told him you went home last night, and he wanted to know when you would be back to watch him. Thanks again."

"Yeah it was no problem. He is a great kid." With every word they spoke avoiding the obvious making it more uncomfortable.

"About last night, I don't know where we would go from here. I know it was inappropriate and I am sorry." He said finally. He wanted to blame it solely on the drinks they had but he knew he couldn't.

"We were both willing. I am not a kid anymore so it wasn't inappropriate." She stated.

"I don't know what to say to your father now." He looked away. She could see the shame on his face.

"First you don't get to say anything to my father, who I have sex with is none of his business. Secondly, this doesn't have to be so uncomfortable; it doesn't have to mean anything. We were just two people needing a connection and found it in each other for a few hours. The opportunity presented itself and we took it. There shouldn't be any shame in that." She stood picking up her small suitcase.

"You're right. It was just a good one time thing." He said trying to convince himself that it didn't mean more to him than that. He smiled as he showed her to the door.

"Ok." She turned to him extending her hand in an awkward attempt to shake his hand. He instead pulled her closer to him and kissed one last time. The kiss was deep and full of need and want. They both knew this couldn't be a one-time thing. Aaron knew he would have to taste her sweet soft lips again. He knew he would have to relieve the feeling of being inside her. Gabby knew she would come every time he called.


	3. Chapter 3

_Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.-_Mark Twain

Derek Morgan was the first to notice Hotch coming to work with a slight smile on his face. He thought he had imagined it because he knew of only a handful of times he had seen his boss smile since Haley's death. But there it was tugging gently at the corners of his mouth. He considered the possibilities of what could have caused that smile, and realized he had gotten laid.

"Hey, baby girl." He said as he walked into Penelope's little office. "Did you notice anything about Hotch this morning?" He asked.

She smiled as Derek pulled a seat next to her.

"You mean that I-just-got-laid look?" She chuckled softly.

"How did you know?" He asked a little disappointed.

"All in the eyes my dearest, besides no one can tell someone else is some love better than those not getting any, stud muffin." She smiled at Derek who returned with a playful laugh.

JJ gathered them all into the bullpen to go over another case. When Aaron entered they all formed a small knowing smile. The only one oblivious was Reid—too smart for his own good sometimes. They reviewed the local case and all went to work respectively.

"So what's her name?" Rossi couldn't pass up an opportunity to mess with his friend. Hotchner and Rossi climbed into the SUV heading to a victim's home.

"Let's not do this right now." Aaron responded sharply.

"Ok then I have met her. Obviously it's not Garcia, who only has eyes for Morgan, and Emily is mine, JJ is happily taken…hmmm. I doubt it would be Strauss; you're too controlling to fuck someone who has power over you." Rossi stated as Reid got into the vehicle.

"What are we talking about?" He asked. Dave shot Aaron a look that if he didn't share he would.

"Fine, yes I had sex this weekend. It's not a big deal. And it was a one-time thing that won't happen again."

"Oh." Spencer said realizing now why everyone else was smiling at Hotch that morning.

They rode the rest of the way in silence.

"So who are you trying to convince, me or you?" Rossi said climbing out of the vehicle starting for the house.

The case ended quickly and Hotch found he was alone again. Jack was at a sleepover. He was sitting on his couch holding his phone considering dialing her number. He just wanted to see how she was doing, he told himself. He set his phone down, deciding to clean his kitchen. It was already cleaned minus the trash needing to be taken out. Sighing as he came back to his apartment he noticed he had 1 missed call.

It was from her. He didn't hesitate calling her back.

"Hey, I saw that you called?" He asked once she answered.

"Yeah, I was just wondering what you are doing tonight?" She said.

"Nothing."

"Jack home?"

"No, I am alone tonight." He answered looking around his apartment, wondering quickly if he should invite her over.

"Oh, that sucks." He heard a knock on his door.

"Uh—hold on." He put her on hold going to the door. He was always cautious and before opening the door he doubled check to make sure his pistol was in the safe. Another louder, impatient knock came. He opened the door revealing Gabby.

"Oh, hey." He said. He was glad she was there with a slow smile creeping over his face.

"Yeah, sorry for just stopping over, I was just thinking. I just thought…" He didn't let her finish the sentence she was having trouble putting together. He kissed her passionately and quickly. She kissed him back. They both started removing their clothes almost instantly.

"God I want you. " She mumbled into his mouth.

"Me too." He said. She kneeled in front of his already erect manhood. She licked tenderly across his head. He grunted as he tilted his head enjoying every sensation of her wonderful mouth on him. She moved slowly at first up and down him swirling her tongue over his head. Gradually she added her hands and applied pressure to his sack.

"I am going to come." He moaned pulling her off of him. He turned her to face the wall and entered her. She yelped with pleasure. He was rougher this time unable to quell the primal need to be inside her. He pulled her hair towards him kissing her neck. Once balanced with her bracing the wall, he used his other hand to cup her breast, gently tugging on her nipple. Within moments she was over the edge moaning his name.

"Oh Aaron."

He pumped once, twice, three times before spilling himself into her again.

"Damn you're good." He said once he withdrew. He took her hand already ready for round two, and led her to his room. She climbed on the bed on all fours. Hotch quickly grabbed her hips pulling her to him and entered her again.

"God, you're so wet and tight." He said. He moved slower this time, but as he gradually increased speed he felt her trying to pull away. He stopped waiting for her to say something but heard sobs instead.

"Gabriela what's wrong?" His eyebrows scrunched as he withdrew and turned her over. He saw the tears fall from her face.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked panicking. He didn't know what he did.

"No, no you didn't hurt me. God, I am so sorry. I just, I just can't do it like this." She pulled the covers over her naked body.

"Do it like what? With me?" He asked confused.

"No, it's just I…I…well I. I just can't do it that way." She said. "We can try it this way." She lay back on the bed but still kept herself covered.

"No. No, I want to know what's wrong." He demanded. He had talked with countless victims over the years, but it didn't take a profiler to realize she had a panic attack over doggy style. He laid next to her taking her hand and trying to comfort her in the best way he could.

"It's a heavy story, Aaron. I've never told anyone before. I don't know if I should." She didn't want to relive the most painful days of her life.

"It's ok. We can just lay here." He said in a calming voice. He had to admit with her nestled at his side he felt more comfortable then he had been in a while. Although neither fell asleep they let the silence rest peacefully over them. Finally, after a while, Gabby spoke up.

"I was seeing this guy. We met in college he was the only guy I ever dated, it was serious pretty quick. When we graduated we both applied to Georgetown. I was accepted. He wasn't. He was angry, but decided to move with me here and get a job instead of his masters. He started entry level at a Marketing company. We were doing well, hardly ever fought. Things started getting weird. He got into bondage…" She paused, waiting to see if he would judge her. He didn't tense up and he stayed quiet listening to her story.

"I let him do some pretty weird things. Candles, clothesline clips. I loved him you know. And if this made him happy…it was just my body." She stumbled.

"Go on." Hotch encouraged.

"When I came home from school our whole bedroom was decorated. I really hated it and it made me uncomfortable to sleep there. Anyway, Daniel said I had to. He never hit me before but that night he beat me pretty bad. I wanted to call the police but I was too afraid. So I obliged him, for everything. The rules started getting harder and harder and the punishments were rougher and rougher. I couldn't wear clothes in the house. Ever." Tears started to fall down her face as she recalled these traumatic moments.

"He would only have sex if I was on the floor like a dog. He called me Bitch, and got a shock collar for me to wear when I was home. I hated myself and I wanted to die. My only solace was going to school. I felt free there."

"Gabby, I am so sorry." Aaron whispered. He tried to hold his disgust because he didn't want her to think it was towards her.

"I'm not done." She traced delicately over his 9 stab wounds.

"Does it hurt?" She asked needing break from her pain.

"No. They are just a reminder of how I failed her. Every day." He stated with no emotion. She took a deep breath.

"One day I came home he hit me over the head. When I woke up I was naked tied up and on my knees. He raped me. As much as I cried out no one even heard. For two days he raped me, washed me, and let me use the bathroom. He didn't let me eat and only after I serviced him did he give me some water but I had to lap it from a bowl like a dog. I fainted, and when I woke up I was in the hospital." She finished.

"Did you file a report?"

"No, I told them I didn't know who I was or how I got there. I left everything I had in that apartment and moved in with my dad who has remained oblivious. I haven't heard from Daniel again. The last I heard from a friend was he moved to Seattle."

"How long ago was this?" He asked. He was angry. There was so much hurt even though he did his best to stop them he still couldn't protect everyone.

"It's been two years, three months and 18 days." She needed a change of subject. She started kissing his neck, stopping to nibble slightly on his ear. He reached for his phone.

"What are you doing?" She asked angrily.

"Statute of limitations is not up yet. I know someone who can find this guy." He dialed Garcia's cell.

"No!" She nearly screamed snatching the phone from her lover's hands and hung up on Garcia.

"It's been two years, I haven't heard from him. I carry an arsenal of weapons including a gun and mace. I don't want to have to go into every detail of what he did to anyone else. I don't want my father to have to hear about this." She explained. She stood up tossing the phone back onto the bed.

"I'm taking a shower." She walked into his master bathroom and decided a bath would be better.

Hotch waited a few moments and realized he had two missed calls from Garcia. He called her back.

"Boss man, I was worried! What is going on it's almost midnight?" She asked in her usual chipper voice.

"I need a favor, off the books." He stated.


	4. Chapter 4

_Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.-_ Arthur Miller

The next morning Hotch woke up to a pounding on his door. He tried unsuccessfully to untangle himself from Gabby's long legs and arms without waking her.

"Sorry." He said putting on a robe and going to the door. He was surprised to find Gabby's father on his doorstep.

"Rob?" He asked quizzically.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I already called the police and they said they couldn't do anything. I don't think I am overreacting. I've spent almost all night looking for her." Robert explained hurriedly. "Gabby was supposed to come to a dinner last night but she didn't. I tried to call her, text her and I called her friends. No one has heard from her."

"She's fine Rob." Hotch said matter-of-factly but didn't offer any other details. Gabby stayed in the room peeking around the door. She really didn't want to have a confrontation with her father.

"You're the one who told me that by the time someone is able to be reported missing it's possibly too late." Rob threw his arms up; his normally tan face was red. His eyes watery and Hotch could tell he hadn't gotten any sleep.

Gabby walked slowly out from the room in one of Hotch's shirts since the rest of her clothes were scattered around the apartment.

"Dad, I'm too old to have you checking on me like this." She stated irritated. "But I am sorry about dinner. My phone died and I don't have a charger with me."

"What the hell?" Her father asked looking from his undressed daughter to his old friend.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me?" He asked in disbelief. Hotch tried to quickly think of an explanation that would diffuse the situation.

"I see that you are mad, and it is understandable. Gabby and I are both adults." He hoped logic would reign in his now furious friend. He was wrong.

The blow to his nose came quickly although not totally unexpected. Hotch reeled back holding his nose. Gabby quickly jumped towards her father to stop him from laying another hit.

"DAD! STOP IT NOW!" She screamed pushing him back towards the door. Rob held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm good, I'm good." He repeated. He walked outside followed by his daughter.

"What the hell is your problem?" Gabby asked angrily. Her long hair cascaded down her back she shivered from the morning chill.

"How could he take advantage of you like that? He was there when you were born!" Her father exclaimed.

"He didn't take advantage of me." She answered crossing her arms.

"He was my friend. How could he see you any different than I do?"

"Because I am not his child. You will always see the little girl who adored you, but dad, I've grown up. Who I am with or not with is none of your business." She stated. "Besides that, don't you think Caroline is someone's child? She is only 30, that's 3 years older than me and y'all got married last year." She knew that was a crushing blow to her father, but one she had to make to prove her point.

"Gabby…it's not the same. I didn't know her when she was younger." He tried to reason.

"So you're saying she was never a little girl? Dad when you got mom pregnant she was only 3. It's the same thing." She didn't wait for her dad to try to prove another useless point. She walked back into the apartment leaving her father outside. Rob still angry and not willing to listen to the reason Gabby gave him walked back to his car.

Hotch sat on the couch holding his head back with a rag over his nose.

"Is it broken?" She asked coming over to him.

"No." He said simply.

"God, Aaron, I am so sorry. I really just forgot about the dinner. It's not like I am open about my sex life with well anyone. So no one would have known where I was. He has been so over protective since I moved out last month." She explained.

"I think you should go, Gabby." Hotch said standing and going to his kitchen. He tossed his rags in the trash and washed his hands.

"You what?" She turned her head slightly in disbelief.

"We both knew this was mistake, and we let it happen again. I have too much to worry about to add something like this to my plate right now." He refused to turn to her; instead he stared at his distorted reflection in his stainless steel sink.

"I did not just get into an argument with my father about this so you could turn me away." Her anger was slowly building up. There really was no way he could say that to her after all she had shared with him. Was it love between them? No, she didn't think so, but to share an intimacy that she hadn't believed was possible again and to have it so violently ripped from her grasp was cruel.

"Make sure you get all your clothes. I am getting in the shower." He said still avoiding eye contact. He had stared death in the eyes. He had lost the only woman he had ever loved. But to see her face after he said these things to her he could not do.

"No, look at me, dammit." She said the fury clearly visible in her eyes. She stood in front of him placing her hand on his chest to stop him from walking into the bathroom. He forced all emotion from his face and met her glare. If anyone had seen them they would have fled from the stare they gave one another.

"You asshole." She turned from him snatching up her clothes from floor and leaving still wearing his shirt.

"Gabby!" He yelled at her but he was once again alone in his apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

"_A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching."-_Sivandana

She drove angrily yelling at herself and every single person who rode at her side or passed her, back to her apartment. She hadn't felt comfortable enough to move out on her own in two years. But she finally convinced herself that being almost 30 was a great age to move out of your father's house. Besides she could barely stand that idiotic trophy wife of his.

After her torture she went to anonymous meetings, thinking that maybe hearing other people's stories would prompt her to accept what happened to her. Every week she would tell herself before going in that she would share and her burden would be lifted. But every week she couldn't. She gave up on telling anyone and chose a life of fear.

She ordered Chinese and decided to take another shower. Nothing seemed to clear your head like a very hot shower. She thought of Aaron, thought of what happened. She was never the kind of girl to get around. She almost had a one night stand with Bobby…or Bill she couldn't remember his name. But she watched as he undressed himself, panicked and ran out. She had given up on ever feeling safe enough to have sex again.

Aaron, she thought, was different. She thought maybe through their pain they could find some sort of solace. She realized she couldn't take away what had happened. For those nights he was her solace and while she would never if she comforted him the way he had her it was enough. Wiping the fog from the mirror she saw the darkened figure only seconds before the blow to the back of her head came.

Aaron sat stubbornly in his office. He thought maybe she would call and try to convince him that it wasn't a mistake that it was worth it. He was upset she hadn't called actually; he knew it wouldn't even take much convincing on her part. He needed her. It was beyond any want he had since Haley's death. With every emotion he felt but never showed he released with her.

He stared at the stack of reports about reports needing to be filed into reports on his desk. Usually he was more than able to separate work from personal feelings. He was the epitome of leaving your personal problems at the front door. He always dehumanized the situations and tried to only look at each case as a puzzle not a horrific crime. To say he was addicted to his job would be a huge understatement. But with Gabby he didn't have to focus on that. He didn't have to feel the pain that plagues him every single second of his life. His loneliness was eating him alive and he knew that Gabby was his saving grace—one he might not be fortunate to get again.

He pulled his phone out again for the third time that morning. He stared at it willing it to ring. Another hour passed without even a hateful text, something he assumed she would have to make. While he could leave his home life at home, he couldn't leave his work life and work. He profiled everyone paying close attention to their reactions, tone and habits.

Finally he caved, sending her a text: _I am sorry for what I said, I'd like to make it up to you? _

Garcia knocked softly on his office door. Hotch closing his phone motioned her in.

"Yes?" He asked keeping an eye on the phone.

"I can't find him." She stated. Garcia was the glue of their family, everyone knew that. She was the breath of fresh air to them. But it always scared Hotch when she couldn't find anything on an unsub.

"What do you mean you can't find him?" Hotch asked. "He must have left some sort of trail."

"No, you said he worked at a marketing company here in DC, but I can't find any kind of employment records. I can only find what year he graduated high school. His record it's really clean, sir." She winced a little.

"It's clean? He doesn't even have any tickets?" Hotch asked confused.

"No, I mean it's been cleaned. I think he hacked into his record and cleaned it. Anything I find about him after 2002 is possibly a lie. This is a myth in the hacker community. He was able to hack into his record, clean it and not be detected. Sir, I am fantastic at my job, but this kind of scares me." She whispered.

Hotch stood up grabbing his phone, which still has not received anything from Gabby, and his keys.

"I have to go." He didn't tell her where, and she contemplated telling the team what happened. She didn't know why she was searching for this guy or even how he could be related to Hotch.

Hotch flashed his credentials to the superintendent asking permission to enter Gabby's apartment. Once the super opened the door Hotch could not hide the horror from his colorless face. The pictures that were once on the wall were shattered and scattered. The couch was gutted leaving bits of cotton trailing the entire apartment. The refrigerator was open with food tossed on the floor. All the drawers were open. It looked like staged robbery but nothing seemed to be missing.

Hotch called his team immediately. Then dialed the Washington police, explaining nearly nothing.

As the team arrived one by one to the apartment they rallied behind Hotch who hadn't moved from his place in the kitchen. He knew if she was dead in the bedroom he would lose it and would need his team there to help. Without saying anything Hotch looked to the closed door nodding to Prentiss and Morgan, who drew their weapons. He opened the door slowly making sure to note all the corners that someone could be hiding. Once cleared, the sight of the room really sunk in.


	6. Chapter 6

"_Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." _Mahatma Gandhi

It was extremely neat. Nothing was out of place, the bed was neatly made, and her stuffed animals were all facing the same way towards the door. Hotch walked into her bathroom and noticed the blood and broken mirror. But the sink had been cleaned and the pieces of glass were not there.

"Hotch, you should see this." Morgan called out. He handed Aaron the piece of parchment paper. It was written in Calligraphy and was probably the neatest writing he had ever seen. But it was a warning nonetheless.

"_**Leave her alone. This is all your fault Agent. I wouldn't have to bring her pain if you just left her alone."**_ It was signed Daniel. Hotch set the note back down on the bed and stepped out to the small balcony.

"GOD DAMN IT." He yelled shaking the rail. It wasn't enough that he had lost Haley. It wasn't enough that this job took the life from him leaving him almost a shell and whatever was left was saved for his son. To finally have had a connection with someone who didn't deal with unsubs and profiles day in and day out and to lose her was almost more than he could bear. Life wouldn't give him happiness. Life would leave him barren and stripped of everything.

"Hotch; you are going to have to explain why we are here." Rossi voice interrupted his self-pity rant inside his head.

"This is her house, Dave. I have to find her." He whispered not looking toward his friend.

"Ok." Rossi understood. He would take the lead and offer the BAU's help to the police. Hotch walked out not looking at or talking to any of his team.

When he arrived back at the BAU offices he saw Robert waiting in his office.

"I told him you had to run out but you weren't answering your phone, he's got some news." Garcia told Hotch touching his shoulder in a move of comfort.

Hotch took a deep breath and prepared for the worst.

"Robert." He said closing his office door.

"Someone took her. I thought she was with you. You couldn't protect her?" He accused.

"We got into a fight. She left, at my request. I was just at her apartment. We are searching for leads." Aaron said folding his hands on his desk.

Robert tossed a bloody cloth on the desk.

"I received this this morning. The ring is hers." Hotch closed his eyes and pulled out two latex clothes before touching the cloth. He slowly unrolled it. It was a finger with an emerald ring.

"I got her the ring because it matched her eyes. Is she dead?" Tears were streaming down Roberts face.

"I can't be certain right now, but it's not likely he would kill her. She is the object of his obsession." Hotch put the finger and cloth into two evidence bags.

"How can you just sit there like it's another case? Like she isn't someone you knew? You had sex with her and you don't feel one way or another about this?" Robert nearly screamed.

"Don't confuse what you see with what I feel. This is my job. I catch guys like him and I am only able to help her if I keep a clear head and mind." Hotch answered as he walked out of the office.

Hotch dropped off the finger to evidence and told him he would bring back a comparison sample.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil."- _Aristotle

It had been two years, three months and 19 days. Gabby woke up with a headache so bad it blurred her vision. She was tied up and naked. It was very dark wherever she was. She was lying on a mattress with no sheets. Her wrists ached painfully and her arms were stretched above her head. Her hair was matted to parts of her face from the blood. Her legs were painfully spread apart exposing all of her.

"Good you are finally awake." He said. He was sitting on the edge of her bed wearing all black, the only part of him that was showing was his face. When he turned to face her she screamed in horror. It was Daniel.

"You know you have to pay for being with him." He got near her face so close she could feel his hot breath on her cheek. She tried turning away but he turned her face to him. He brought up a whip that was thick with many strips of leather.

"I think 20 lashings with this will be a good start to your punishment. Don't you?" He asked..

"God, Daniel you don't have to do this. I didn't report it last time. You can go free and never have to worry about the police. I won't tell anyone. Please just let me go." She begged.

"Are you that hot for him? You don't even remember what we had? I loved you…but now you are whore and you need to pay." He picked up her weak body hoisting her chains over a beam. She stood painfully stretched, crying and she could barely touch the floor on her toes.

"Oh God please don't. Please God don't." She cried begging. He pulled back his whip and cracked it loudly against her back. She cried out and welts immediately formed.

"Count." He demanded. She shook her head, saying no. He reeled back giving her another lashing.

"Count." His voice was calm and patient. She realized he would continue doing this all night if she did not count.

"Count you nasty cunt." He stated, dragging his whip across her already tender back.

"Two!" She screamed out.

"No, you start at one!" He hit her again.

"ONE!" Her back was already bleeding. He moved down to her bare bottom hitting her as hard as he could.

"TWO." He continued his onslaught all the way to twenty lashes. Her back, bottom, and legs were bruised, welted and bleeding.

"Now, you must wash him off of you. I want you to smell like you used to when you were with me." He left her hanging as he filled a tub with hot water. Once he released her from her constraints she could barely move over to the tub. He picked her small body up and placed her into the water.

She screamed out in pain as the water hit her welts.

"I wish I didn't have to punish you like that. You know you deserved it, though. He should have never had the pleasure of tasting you. You remember that guy you went home with once? I took care of him. Even though I know you couldn't be with him. You still were thinking about me. But this Agent Hotchner… somehow you wanted him more than me." He explained as he washed her hair.

She flinched when she heard Aaron's name. Would anyone even know she was missing yet? Would he even care if he did know? She wanted to say yes, he would know and he would be looking for her right now. She imagined him coming down the stairs and saving her, killing Daniel and taking her into his arms.

"Are you thinking about him right now? You little slut!" He yanked her out of the muddy colored water by her hair. She instinctively reached for her head as he pushed her angrily against the cement wall. Her cheek smashed against the wall. She felt it swell. He spread her legs and roughly pushed into her. With every fight move she tried to make he matched and became even rougher. Finally, after all her energy was expended he finished spilling himself inside of her. The thought alone made her throw up. He handed her a rag and told her to clean the mess up.

Hotch waited anxiously for the DNA results as the rest of his team piled into the bullpen.

"He knew her. I ran a search on someone named Daniel Morris. The guy did some pretty horrific things to her. Anyways I couldn't find much about him." Garcia explained to the team who were all staring up to Aaron's office.

"We got to find her alive. I don't think he could handle another blow like this." JJ stated.

"Let's get to work then." Rossi interjected.

"He's calm. Usually when someone hand-writes a note to a family you can see the pressure marks from their anxiety. He wrote this as easily as if it was a grocery list. This parchment paper isn't the easiest paper to come by, and a calligraphy pen…he probably bought them from a specialty store." Reid explained. Garcia typed on her laptop to find stores in the Washington D.C area that sold that brand of paper.

"I got 10 stores." She said. "I can weed out four that closed last year. Apparently Calligraphy isn't paying well."

"If he covered his tracks since High School, I doubt he would have used anything other than cash." Morgan stated.

Hotch's phone rang and before it could send out the second ring he picked it up.

"SSA Hotchner." He stated.

"This is Gwen in Forensics. The DNA was not a match." He sighed in relief.

"Thank you."

"I have something else. I don't know if it would matter but the finger was frozen then thawed. I ran the print, and I have a match." Gwen explained. "I am sending over my report as well as the information to your office now." Hotch's fax machine sounded off and started printing the papers.

"Thank you." He hung up going over to the reports. He read who the finger belonged to and walked to the bullpen with the rest of his team.

"It wasn't her finger. It was a prostitutes. She was reported missing over a year ago." He handed Garcia the report.

"I want you to look into his past that he didn't change. His childhood and his parents. This obsession started somewhere and I am willing to bet it was not with Gabby." Hotch explained.

"What else do we have?" He asked looking to the board.

"He is controlled. The destruction of the apartment was likely a ruse to confuse whoever first entered. He eventually knew you would be there, leaving the note. He took the time to clean the bedroom and erase any DNA or prints that he could have left behind." Rossi explained the information they had thus far.

"I found something interesting!" Garcia exclaimed.


	8. Chapter 8

"_Doesn't the fight for survival also justify swindle and theft? In self-defense, anything goes." _Imelda Marcos

"Ok so, his mom was a school teacher. She was put into jail for sleeping with a student, so he went to live with his father. His father owned a very dark night club and regularly played D/s games. But that's not the weird part. So his mother only got two years since the student was 16 and continued to show up at her parole hearings. He moved back in with her to finish high school." Garcia explained.

"There are some child services reports claiming that she had sexually assaulted him and he could no longer differentiate between her being his mother and his lover. She was found dead 6 years ago, right before he went to college. Here is a picture of her." She turned her computer to the rest of the team.

"She had black hair and green eyes. Just like the victim." Morgan stated.

"She's not a victim, Morgan she is a person." Hotch stared down his co-worker.

"I'm sorry Hotch…I didn't mean…" he let his voice trail off.

"OH!" Garcia yelped.

"Here is an address for a house that is still in his mother's name." She wrote the address and handed it to Hotch. They all put on their bullet proof vests and loaded in two SUV's.

"Why would he use this house to keep her, it's in a quiet neighborhood but the neighbors are pretty close to each other." Prentiss pointed out as they climbed out.

"I can't go in. Morgan, take point and stay in contact." Hotch knew his boundaries and he needed this arrest to stick without his interference. He stayed behind the cop cars hoping that they would find her and this hellish nightmare would be over.

"Hotch, we got something…" Morgan's voice rang his ear piece. "It's the prostitute. Man…this is bad."

They found the frozen body of Maria Sanchez. Her hair was brutally ripped from her scalp. She was missing a finger and was wrapped in a purple blanket.

"Why did he keep her?" Reid asked.

"Why did he rip her hair out is a better question." Prentiss said covering her mouth with her arm. The smell of the defrosting, decomposing corpse was something no one could really get used to.

"She was blonde." Hotch's voice cut in.

"What how do you know that?" Reid asked. Instead of saying it he pointed to her pubic area.

"She dyed her black; once he found out she couldn't be a surrogate anymore. She lost her appeal. He lost his temper." Rossi explained. Hotch quickly dialed Garcia's number.

"Garcia, this was a dead end. Have you found out anything else?" He asked.

"Ok so I search his father's record. He is in Attica serving a life term for the rape-slash-murder of a 14 year old girl. All of his property has been foreclosed sir, I am still looking of any place he might have her." Garcia said.

"Call me as soon as you get any more information." Hotch looked around the house to see if anything could lead them to where he might have her.

Gabby wanted to sleep, she wanted to die. But the pain she felt proved to her that death was not an option and she was still very much alive. Daniel didn't leave her side all night, or day, or however long it had been. She had realized that perhaps it could have been only a few hours. She would not know. The room was completely dark and when Daniel turned on the light she could only see stairs leading up.

"Your body reacts to me so beautifully." He said pinching her nipple and smiling as it got hard. "See I know I could make you happier than he could."

"Daniel, my body may be forcibly yours. But I let go of the fear you forced on me a while ago. I haven't even thought of you in months." She lied.

"I know you are lying. I am inside your head. I know you need me to take care of you. I do think however, that you should stop calling me 'Daniel'… no until you've accepted your place as my pet, I want you to call me Master." He pressed his hand on her stomach.

"I might want kids. What do you think of that? I think you would be beautiful walking around with my child in your belly." He smiled kissing her. She muffled her cry and tried in vain to pull away.

"Daniel…" She cried out as he pushed himself into her again. At the sound of his name he punched her in her already swollen face. She prayed for an end. She prayed that he would go too far and kill her and she would not have to endure this anymore. She hated herself for not reporting the rape before.

"I got something. I thought that he used his mother's place with the prostitute and the other three murders. I checked anything that might connect to him…but, and thanks to my all-knowing skills—"

"Garcia." Hotch said sternly his patience had run out hours ago.

"Sorry. The prostitute had an old cabin completely paid for. It was the only thing she owned. Sending you the address now." She finished.


	9. Chapter 9

"_Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss, life is just this. It's living. You'll get along. The pain that you feel can only heal by living. You have to go on living."_ Spike (Once More With Feeling ((BTVS))

Gabby heard footsteps. Daniel was lying next to her but didn't seem to hear them. She thought maybe it was just a figment of her imagination.

"Uh…master…I wanted to say sorry. You're right, how could I forget you? You will forever be on my mind." She tried awkwardly to cuddle near him. She was happy her feet were left unchained.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes, Master…he wasn't even a good lover. He didn't know my body like you do." She heard muffled talking and she thought she heard the name "Hotch."

"I know your body." He smiled.

"Yes, and you know when I need to be punished. You reminded me how to stay in line." She smiled at him.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

"Yes, Master. Please will you kiss me?" She asked.

"Kiss you?"

"Kiss me. I want to know what your lips feel like. Your lips are sweeter than his aren't they?"

"Yes, yes they are." He leaned in to kiss her.

"Uh—no. I want you on top of me to kiss me…Please? That's how he kissed me. I want to erase his memory with yours." He climbed on top of her placing his legs in between hers. He leaned in for the kiss closing his eyes. She closed her eyes and kissed him as passionately as she could. Once he was engrossed in the kiss she brought her knee up as hard as she could.

Daniel screamed out kneeling over holding himself.

"YOU BITCH!" He yelled.

Hotch turned to a wall.

"You'll pay for that."

"Something is going on behind this wall." Hotch said motioning Morgan to him.

"Help me move this." They moved a large wooden cabinet and found a giant door.

"If she is down there, there must be another way in; no way he can move this after he goes down there." Morgan stated quietly.

Hotch nodded taking putting his observation to the front of his mind.

Daniel, focusing his rage. He smacked her and started to punch the side of her face that was not swollen.

"HELP ME! SOMEONE PLEASE!" she screamed wondering now if those footsteps and voices were truly her imagination and freedom was not ever going to be an option.

In swift movements Morgan pulled Daniel off of Gabby, even before she realized they were down there.

"Tell me the combination." Hotch demanded noting that the chains that bound Gabby were locked with a combination.

"No." Daniel smiled.

Gabby squirmed trying to free herself from the chains. Prentiss brought down a blanket and covered her naked body up.

"Tell me the damn combination." Hotch put the nozzle of his gun under Daniel's chin.

"25-2-36." He stuttered.

"Get him the hell out of here." Hotch told Morgan as he unchained her.

"I am so sorry. I am so sorry." Gabby kept saying. "I didn't…he just….I was caught off guard. He never left. Aaron he knew…about us. I am so sorry."

"This isn't your fault baby." Hotch comforted her. He picked up her body as tears formed in his eyes. As the sun touched the exposed skin that the blanked hadn't covered he saw the deep lashes. The ambulance started and IV.

"She has a few broken ribs; I think her cheekbone is fractured. We'll know more at the hospital." The Medic stated.

"I am going to ride with her. Prentiss I need you to call this number and tell him that we found her. She is alive and she will be at the hospital." Prentiss nodded taking the number down and walked toward Rossi.

"He is riding back with her." She stated. "What do you think the odds are that she can get over this and not blame herself or Hotch?"

"I hope for his sake that she doesn't blame anyone. He needs her more than he knows I think." Rossi said taking Prentiss's hand.

Hotch stayed at the hospital waiting for test results and praying she would get some sleep. She woke up every 15 minutes or so to check if he was there. He held her hand as gently as he could.

"A lot of the wounds are superficial. She was raped, and pretty bad, looks like she fought pretty hard." The doctor told Hotch and pointed to her manicure that was broken and bloody.

"She does have two broken ribs, a fractured cheek bone. I am running tests for any STD's and I will need her permission for the morning after pill." The doctor finished. Hotch just nodded as the doctor left.

He moved some of her hair from her forehead and kissed her very gently.

"I am so sorry Gabby. This is my fault." He whispered. He placed his head in his hands. How was he supposed to ever have any kind of relationship if everyone he ever cared about gets hurt? How could he have put away so many people as a prosecutor and as an agent but he can't protect the women in his life?

Robert walked in handing Hotch a cup of coffee.

"I saw the Doc." Hotch said after taking a sip from the hot cup.

"Yeah, I saw her too. She told me." Robert looked at his little girl. She was broken and he hadn't been there to save her. Guilt had never been so perfectly written on the two men's face.

"It's so hard to sleep with you both brooding over me." Gabby half smiled and regretted it from the pain shooting across her face.

"I hope I look better than I feel." She said looking with her one good eye to Aaron and then to her father. Neither of them said anything about her appearance or what had happened. They just kept their eyes on her.

"Please, stop. You guys couldn't have prevented this." A tear slid down her face, Hotch fought the urge to wipe it away.

"Dad can I speak with Aaron alone, please?" Robert nodded and stepped outside the door although he left it partially opened and stayed near.

"I prayed you would find me." She said. "You found me."

"You should have never been alone for him to take you. It's my fault I sent you away." He looked away, choking down his pain.

"It's not your fault. You don't want a relationship. I can't blame you for that; I can't blame you for this. I just want you to know I am going to be ok and I think it would be a good idea if you left me alone for a while." She maintained eye contact. He shook his head 'no' but he put up his hand and walked out without saying goodbye.

She couldn't hold back the tears anymore and once they started she didn't know how she would ever get them to stop.


	10. Chapter 10

"_There would be no passion in this world if we never had to fight for what we love." _Susie Switzer

As Hotch started his work week he couldn't help but be distracted. Everyone knew his pain, and even though he was an incredibly private person he couldn't help but wear the pain on his sleeve. He had spent so many years hiding his feelings, pushing those emotions so far down he wondered if he could even feel. When Haley died he wondered if he could ever feel anything besides pain again. He explained to the team that he would be staying in Quantico while they went to Charleston, South Carolina. No one questioned him. He would still be in touch with them and work the case but he just didn't have the heart to put on the brave face this week.

He tried calling the hospital but she was discharged. He tried her number but she changed it, which he was happy about.

Gabby barely got out of bed for the next week. Not that her father minded waiting on her hand and foot. She hated putting him out that like. But what she hated the most was needing someone. Everyone changed the way they saw her. She was damaged, her body was broken, and she was violated. Who could love her after that?

She knew she shouldn't blame herself and it was his entire fault. It was his obsession and his anger and hatred that caused this. But she couldn't help blaming herself. If she hadn't been with Aaron…

She also knew deep down that Daniel was watching her before. She would get that feeling of someone staring at you. She could get "surprise" packages on her steps on their last two anniversaries. It was never anything special and no name was ever given but she knew. She knew he was still here in D.C and she knew he was going to hurt her again and she did nothing.

She would have to go to court and explain everything he did—in detail. Aaron would be there. No way could she be intimate again. She had completely pushed that from her mind. And those feelings she had for Aaron were easily ignored. Her mom would be up from Arizona in a few days but honestly she just wished everyone would pretend it didn't happen.

They all looked at her with sad eyes. No one said anything and no one asked her if she was ok but they couldn't hide it in their eyes. She forced herself out of bed and went to the restroom. When she first came home her father had went with her, although she begged him not to he stayed right outside the door. It took forever for her to pee when he did that.

Weeks passed, Hotch got back into the groove and only thought of Gabby every two seconds instead of every second. Jack kept him very busy and he stayed engrossed in his job, but her face so perfect and her raven hair…he could only not think of her for a few moments.

Gabby was moving around pretty well and most of her bruises had faded or were that ugly yellow before they disappear. She had moved back into her place against the expressed objections of both her father and her mother—something they could agree on for once. But she knew she couldn't stay or she would slip into the darkest places in her mind where she would eventually kill herself. She looked at her phone, debating on calling him. She set the phone back down and double checked the locks to which she added 3 more. Her father had cleaned up the apartment and started to box things up before she told him she wouldn't be moving in with him.

She hadn't really left the house since she moved in. But she felt like maybe it would be a good idea. She thought maybe a drink or two would be fun. She dressed up, although she didn't wear what she would normally wear to the club.

"I just think it would be nice for us all to go out for a few drinks after this case." Emily explained to her boss.

"I don't see the point. I really just want to go home." Aaron answered.

"It's not like you would do anything at home aside from more case work. Take a break, lately you've been here working or at home working. You need to get out. I mean ever since Daniel…Hotch I am sorry." She quickly tried to recover.

"It's ok Emily. Ok fine but only for one drink." He reasoned.

"One drink of my choice?" She flirted a little.

"No." He smiled. The rest of the team all had a smile of approval that their boss had agreed to go out.

Gabby walked into the club and not even ten minutes later had already downed three shots of tequila.

"You know you should slow down if you want to walk out of her by yourself at the end of the night." The bartender commented.

"I'll worry about that myself." She stated ordering another two shots and a beer.

"Alright, but just know I enforce my right to cut you off if things get out of hand."

"Got it boss. Hit me up another one." She said finishing the first shot and taking a swig from her beer.

She scanned the room noticing the couples, noticing the women waiting for a man to make a move. She bobbed her head to the loud beat of whatever mix song was playing.

Hotch went home changed into a pair of jeans and a dark grey top and checked with Jessica and Jack. Jessica was a godsend and she understood his need to get out for a bit without work.

He combed his fingers through his hair as he sat down next to Emily and Rossi. He ordered a beer and nursed it slowly.

He scanned the room noticing all the exits and that's when she caught his eye.

Gabby was headed to the bathroom area with a blonde curly hair blue eyes guy. Hotch moved instantly towards them without thought. Maybe it was just his eyes playing tricks on him and it wasn't her.

He knew her body too well for it to not be her.

Gabby pushed the man up against the empty bathroom stall. It wasn't the perfect place for this but she really didn't care. She needed this. She needed to feel again. She slowly started to remove his belt and didn't bother shutting the stall door. She didn't care at all who saw her.

The guy cupped her breasts but they both were sloppy drunk, sloppily kissing and touching each other.

Hotch walked in slowly, searching quickly the urinal area, then he slowly opened the first stall door.

Gabby moaned slightly as the man slide a finger into her. Her panties rested on his shoulder her foot was on the top of the toilet. Hotch finally reached the last stall and with horror saw the two enthralled in each other.

"What the fuck!" The guy called out as Hotch yanked him off of Gabby.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?" The man asked.

"Get the fuck out of here." Hotch stated without taking his eyes off Gabby.

"What? Gabby is this guy your dad?" He asked trying to force his drunken brain to work out the situation at hand.

"No. He used to be my lover." She responded not breaking eye contact with Hotch.

"This shit is messed up. I am out of here." It didn't matter if he had stayed; neither Gabby nor Hotch paid him any attention. She crossed her arms over her chest slightly pushing her breasts up.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked noting her bruises had faded but the scars on her arm were still visible.

"I don't answer to you. Get out of my way." She snapped trying to push past him.

"No, you don't, but you tell me to leave you alone for a while, then I find you hooking up in a bathroom stall. This is not you." He stated.

"Oh, cause the two time we have spent alone has given you plenty of time to 'know who I am' right? Sorry I think you were a little busy both times fucking me to get to know me." She retorted.

"What is your problem? What happened between us was consensual. Don't cheapen it." He replied.

"Just leave me alone like I asked." She said putting her head down trying to hide the tears. In truth she knew that he was probably the only person who really knew her. Even though they didn't spend much time together he knew her. And she knew him. They shared something with each other neither of them knew could happen again. But she couldn't deal with that now.

"Are you in counseling?" He asked following her out of the men's restroom.

"Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone." She said punctually.

"You need help. You shouldn't be acting out this way. I can set you up with someone to help you." He tried again.

"MY GOD! I told you I don't want you in my life anymore. You were fun while it lasted but let's not pretend we care about each other. Let's not pretend you care at all." She tried to grab her keys from the bartender.

"You're not driving home like this." Hotch stated taking the keys from the bartender before she could take them. He took her arm rather harshly and put into the passenger seat of his SUV.


	11. Chapter 11

_**This is the final chapter; I hope you have enjoyed this story as much as I loved writing it! If you like it let me know! Also I want to mention BrainyQuote for all the quotes I found there.**_

"_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." Lao Tzu_

She woke up in a slightly familiar room; she was naked as she usually was in this room. Had she had sex? Where is he? What the hell happened last night? She thought.

She scanned the darkened room for her clothes but as per usual she couldn't find them, she did notice the light blue robe that Hotch wore before. After she wrapped herself in it she slowly padded out to the kitchenette.

"You're awake finally." Hotch said not looking at her.'

"Did we…you know?" She stuttered.

"Have sex? No, but you really couldn't keep your clothes on as soon as we walked in you promptly stripped then threw up in my sink. I put you to bed and slept on the couch." He pointed to his couch that still had his blanket and a pillow on it.

"I am sorry for this. I don't even remember what happened. It's all kind of blurry you know? Thanks for making sure I am ok."

"Are you ok? Why aren't you seeking counseling?" He asked pouring her some black coffee.

"I know what they are going to say." She smiled a little remembering the excuse he used about not going to a therapist after Haley's death.

"You need help. How many nights have you gone out and drank?"

"I am old enough to drink; I really don't need the dos and don'ts about drinking from you. It's my life." She stated.

"I think you need help. I can't say it enough. You went through hell." He leaned against his counter drinking his coffee.

"Oh yeah." She smiled walking up to him slowly unbuttoning his shirt. She kissed his lips, his jawbone and his neck. He groaned out as she inserted her hand in his pants stroking him.

"Stop." He said although he didn't make any movements to stop her he rolled his eyes closing them as he tilted his head back in pleasure.

"Do you really want me to stop?" She whispered.

"No, but you have to." He pulled her hands to his chest. "You have to go. I can't do this." He walked away.

"Yeah walk away, just like you always have. That's why he caught me you know?" She said following him to the bedroom.

"No he caught you because you didn't file a report. I might have sent you out but he got you because you weren't careful." He snapped back but regretted it as soon as he said it.

"You didn't protect me. He only came after me because you took advantage of me." She narrowed her eyes. He didn't know what else to do or say.

"Get help or get out." He finally said after all those words of pain.

Another few weeks went by. Gabby didn't go out again. She didn't seek counseling instead she kept playing their fight in her head. How did she let things get so messed up? She wasn't mad at him at all. Not even on the night they fought. She just wanted him to be hurt like she was. What kind of person did that make her?

She started writing in her diary, something she hadn't done since she was 13.

_Dear Diary,_

_Another nightmare, but this time he didn't rescue me. I had to save myself. I died. Made a good cappuccino and sat outside, but the view kinda sucks. _

She didn't know what else to say. But she did feel like writing it out helped sometimes. The dreams were still intense and every time she looked in the mirror and saw the deep lines on her back she'd tremble. But she stopped blaming herself.

_Dear Diary,_

_I got my acceptance letter. I applied to the academy after me and him…after the first time. I was inspired. They want me in counter terrorism. I doubt I would even pass the psych evaluation. Maybe I shouldn't even show up? Maybe I should call him see what he thinks. Maybe I should get some help for this before I go._

She dialed the number he gave her for a therapist he recommended. Getting help was the first step right?

She scheduled and appointment for the following week and promptly dialed his number. It went straight to voicemail.

"You have reached Aaron Hotchner, please leave a brief message and a number I will get back to as soon as possible." BEEP.

"Hey, Aaron, it's me. I just thought I would let you know I am getting help now. And I have so much to say, just not in a voicemail. I don't blame you, I never blamed you. You saved me since the first time we met and you-" Her message was cut off. It was only 5 minutes later that he called back.

He knew he couldn't move past this how it ended. He cared too much for her to be in pain.

"Gabby." He stated, he never was one for hello's

"I just wanted to say I am sorry." Tears fell again from her face. She wasn't out of the dark but she could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"I'm sorry too. I should have protected you." He said finally. She could hear the strain in his voice. He really did blame himself and she couldn't stand it.

"You did so much for me. You saved me." She said.

"Can we meet up?" She didn't know if she should, but she accepted, and soon they were both sitting at a small coffee shop near her apartment.

"I called that therapist, and I've been writing in my journal. I think it's kind of helped." She smiled.

"I miss that smile." He said.

"I have something to show you." She handed him the acceptance letter.

"This is because of you. I didn't have the courage to do this before you. It could never have been just sex for me. I never was one to believe that you could have some sort of spiritual connection with someone just through their body. I know I must sound kind of crazy but…" She just let her voice trail off as he stared at her letter.

"I love you, Gabby. I wanted it to just be sex. I wanted to stay detached and unemotional like I always am, but I couldn't. I can't. I just love you." He said looking at her now. She didn't say it back but she wanted to melt, she wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms and have wild passionate sex. But for right now, sipping this coffee and listening to him laugh and tell stories was enough.

He followed her to her apartment kissing her neck as she tried to open the door. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her into him. They barely made it to the bed so deeply involved with each other. They expertly removed each other's clothes but with all his restrain Hotch stopped.

"Are you sure you can do this?" He asked. She nodded knowing that if she didn't she would never really move past Daniel and all he did.

Hotch kissed her body slowly, being more gentle than even he thought was possible. He never really drank in her scent or her taste. He took so long just exploring her, wrapping his fingers in her hair, kissing her everywhere. She lay perfectly still on the bed as he searched her. He moved back to her lips kissing her tenderly. She wrapped her legs around his waist flipping them so she was on top.

She, in turn, explored his body, sucking his ear, savoring that spicy scent. She kissed every one of his scars slowly kissing his legs and moved to his shaft. She gently engulfed his head, swirling her tongue over him. He moaned out her name "Gabby…" and it was heaven to her ears.

When he almost had enough he pulled her from him and flipped back over. He entered her softness swiftly. But he was still as gentle as he could be.

"Are you ok?" He asked searching her face for any sign that this was too much.

"I am fine with you." She smiled but kept her eyes closed. She wanted to push all the pain and sorrow that Daniel caused her away and fill it with all that Aaron was giving her. He stroked expertly bringing her to the edge and holding her there. It wasn't a mind game or even a fiery passionate romp. It was love making. It was primal and desperate but it was a completion and an acceptance. He soon sent her over and followed suit filling her completely with hot jets of come.

He collapsed next to her but needed to hold her close. She smiled.

"I love you, too. I love you more than I thought was possible." She said finally.


End file.
